What Made Maddy Run, a brilliant insight into the world that was Maddy Holleran’s. The original article #SplitImage, is what inspired me to talk openly about my struggles with depression. Starting with my LifeUnfiltered post. I still remember sitting at work reading the article, all but crying and thinking, oh, I need to stop hiding.
When I found out the book was being published, I knew I needed to get it. I wasn’t quite prepared for just how it would make me feel. Reading this book was not with out tears, I forget how low I was and just how far I have come. 300 pages of I did that, yes that’s so true. It was almost scary going back, without the grey tinted glasses but being back in the mindset of someone who was visibily struggling. A toxic and ultimately fatal dose of depression, anxiety and possibly an eating disorder.
The bit that resonates so much with me, was how Maddy had opened up to her parents, without ever fully putting her finger on what she was struggling with. I still remember, telling my parents that I think I had depression. They responded, with love, and agreed. They had thought so too but didn’t want to label me or force me to talk before I was ready. Similarly, Maddy would allude to her friends she was not okay, but never fully enough for them to be worried. Only with hindsight after her suicide, did they realise just how much she was struggling.
The pressure of being perfect and creating your online persona is poisonous to some. So much of What Made Maddy Run focuses on social media and the effect it has. I often hide behind social media, posting the perfect image and caption, not showing my true thoughts. It’s scary to admit the truth sometimes.
So much of the book I have taken pictures of, so many quotes meaning so much to me. This will be one book I forever go back to, inevitably highlighting along the way.
- In fact, when you’re in the valley it’s difficult to look up at all.
- but she had end-to-end control over the images that told the story of her life.
- One of the trickiest parts of social media is recognising that everyone is doing the same thing you’re doing presenting their best self.
- We have translated expressions and emotions into emojis and simply using an emoji seems to tell the recipient that all is okay.
- the way she wasn’t staying focused on anything for long, how her was just – off
- mental illness is when that struggle inhibits you from your daily life
To Kate Fagan, the brilliant espnW author of both the original article and book, thank you. Thanks for writing such a sensitive story and topic so well. It’s helped me beyond words. As always, to anyone struggling, it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to ask for help.