Why is it I always seem to neglect my little space of the internet? It’s almost 2020 and it has been quite the year. Life has well and truly happened.
So onto next year, it may only be December but I want to focus on the fact it is almost 2020. I’ve lost myself this year. My anxiety has definitely come back. Days and days off over exaggerating what could happen. Endless thoughts that aren’t healthy. I’ve lost my love for running, and honestly that terrifies me. For one reason or another, whenever I have been running, I’ve been overthinking, unable to breathe in a steady fashion and comparing myself to my former self. I am not as cardio fit as April and that is ok. But I miss running, I miss the time for me and the inevitable endorphins that occur. I am tired of making excuses as to why I can’t run, when former me would have made it work.
So it’s almost 2020. I have managed to secure a good for age place at London Marathon and won a ballot place at Berlin Marathon. So 2 marathon majors in 2020! This is just the kick I need. One thing CBT taught me is the importance of journalling, recognising the good days and the bad days. Noting what you can do to improve and acting on it. So being me, a stationery lover, I bought a new journal. Something about pen to paper just helps me.
I say this every year, but I will keep this blog. I’ve got quite a few goals for my running next year. By writing it publicly online, I am committing to myself and to whoever reads this. Some me see this as putting more pressure on myself. We all know my history of pressure and expectations. I see it less as pressure and more as accountability. I am going to be honest. My goals are big, they are achievable but they will require a lot of work. Actually putting myself first, including both my physical and mental health. So to feature Fie – stop scrolling social media, do your yoga, drink more water and get enough sleep!
It’s almost 2020 – what are your goals going to be?